Life Is Beautiful Though Sometimes Its Beauty Is A Little Bit Hard To Savour

Human beings have been chasing after the self-satisfaction and good feelings for thousands of decades. It is a natural instinct and it is an undeniable right in the state of nature. Because of this, it turns out difficult for us to face the consequences when things go wrong. Imagine when you got cheated. Imagine when you grow up in a home full of violence. Imagine when the ones you love the most suddenly pass away. There are some of us who are disappointed, some might be depressed, the others might think about suicide and many people might choose to do so.

When things go down to the hole, we might wonder why that the negativities, the pains, the tragedies hit us all at once. Is that our faults or it is meant to be? We are not born to expect the sorrow to come. We are not taught what to do when we’re broken. We choose joy and I strongly believe everyone deserves it.

We, humans, have a remarkable ability to build up hope. Let’s take an example when we are looking at the ones we love lying on the bed of the hospital and hear that they are untreatable, what we will do? After hours and hours drowning ourselves in tears and regret, we build up our hope. Victor Hugo once said, “hope is the word which God has written on the brow of every man”. In the darkest night, we’ll hold on to anything even a spot of light. However, when the ones we love can’t make it, it’s impossible for us to accept the truth. Are we avoiding to believe what is happening around us?

Please open your hands. Please do the hand gesture like you are reaching something. We’ll see our fingers open, keep space from each other, won’t we? Our hands will be in the direction of the object, won’t they? The highest possibility here is our middle fingers will touch the object first. Well, we are all so familiar to the middle finger’ s meaning. Hence, whenever we touch or reach something, the disadvantages, the unexpected negativities are already there, in front of us. However, we choose to ignore them all.

How many people think of the possibilities of the negativities? How many people prepare for them? How many people are ready to face them?

Some people may feel pessimistic thinking about them but I’d rather say how thoughtful and brave of them to do so.

Thinking about the lost, we will appreciate the time we got with the ones we love. Thinking about the pain, we will pick up lessons.

Even life is full of obstacles, it is still full of light.

We can choose to spend our best effort to forget about something or we can choose to remember it, learn from it to turn the pain into something precious.

Hence, life is beautiful though sometimes its beauty is a little bit hard to savour.

Eurus Thach.

When You Knock Your Ex-crush' s Door Twice

(A picture of Brennan Ehrhardt
https://unsplash.com/search/photos/red-door?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText)

I have knocked my ex-crush’ s door twice. Hence, twice, but not in a then-run-away way. I and my ex-crush had known each other before. We had chatted for a week before he told me that he missed me and started sending me heart emojis. Then things suddenly became silent that I was so shocked and I questioned myself where I had done wrong. It was in the winter that the first time occurred, the snow was falling when my sister was driving me to the destination. “I need to go”, I told her so. I was more than excited and a bit thrilled. I had seen him at school in an extremely stressful mood and I told myself “you must do something, he is not ok at all”. I had tried to reach him several times before all the effort went down to the hole. “I can try saying some positive things or at least I can tell him that I like him”. Sitting on the car, the strong feelings about him kept making my heart heavier. It’s the longest 10-minute distance I had ever known. I knocked, the door opened. Tiny snowflakes were dancing around me when the one appeared at the door froze me a bit. It was his mom. “Life is not as beautiful as a fairy tale”, I assumed, “well, it can’t end this way”. With a huge surprising expression that still remained on her face after our greeting, I softly asked if she could tell him that I came. I went back to the car with a huge happy-ending hope. However, there was nothing in response. “What a poor guy”, then I comforted myself, “his phone must be stolen”.

If there is a “first time”, the “second time” will always go after. In another snowing day, after I helped my brother with his heavy delivery job, I went exhausted. I then still decide to challenge my fate again. Again, I met his mother and the response never came.

My sister told me that I lost the self-respect of a girl and that she never wanted to be like me.

Awww, how can I say? Her bowling ball had perfectly stricken all the pin laying in my heart.

People who knew my story told me that I was so out of my mind and that girls never did do such things. I had being drown in their words for weeks until I realized something. Hence, “no one does such things. Especially a girl”. However, I did, which meant that bravery was greater than others. Imagine if I was in an interview in which the interviewer gently asked me “how risky can you be?”, I would confidently tell them “I’m willing to take the consequence or at least I can have a positive look at everything I do”. 

I then met a guy whom I am dating now. It’s more than a blessing to me that we can be together. “There will always be a better one”, he told me, “even when you suppose that the previous person is the best”. Hence, I so appreciate that he is mine and vice versa.

I met my ex-crush again on a day that Sakura was celebrating the air of the spring and asked him how he was doing.

Perhaps there are always people in our lives who are meant to be the passengers.

Eurus Thach.