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I have knocked my ex-crush’ s door twice. Hence, twice, but not in a then-run-away way. I and my ex-crush had known each other before. We had chatted for a week before he told me that he missed me and started sending me heart emojis. Then things suddenly became silent that I was so shocked and I questioned myself where I had done wrong. It was in the winter that the first time occurred, the snow was falling when my sister was driving me to the destination. “I need to go”, I told her so. I was more than excited and a bit thrilled. I had seen him at school in an extremely stressful mood and I told myself “you must do something, he is not ok at all”. I had tried to reach him several times before all the effort went down to the hole. “I can try saying some positive things or at least I can tell him that I like him”. Sitting on the car, the strong feelings about him kept making my heart heavier. It’s the longest 10-minute distance I had ever known. I knocked, the door opened. Tiny snowflakes were dancing around me when the one appeared at the door froze me a bit. It was his mom. “Life is not as beautiful as a fairy tale”, I assumed, “well, it can’t end this way”. With a huge surprising expression that still remained on her face after our greeting, I softly asked if she could tell him that I came. I went back to the car with a huge happy-ending hope. However, there was nothing in response. “What a poor guy”, then I comforted myself, “his phone must be stolen”.
If there is a “first time”, the “second time” will always go after. In another snowing day, after I helped my brother with his heavy delivery job, I went exhausted. I then still decide to challenge my fate again. Again, I met his mother and the response never came.
My sister told me that I lost the self-respect of a girl and that she never wanted to be like me.
Awww, how can I say? Her bowling ball had perfectly stricken all the pin laying in my heart.
People who knew my story told me that I was so out of my mind and that girls never did do such things. I had being drown in their words for weeks until I realized something. Hence, “no one does such things. Especially a girl”. However, I did, which meant that bravery was greater than others. Imagine if I was in an interview in which the interviewer gently asked me “how risky can you be?”, I would confidently tell them “I’m willing to take the consequence or at least I can have a positive look at everything I do”.
I then met a guy whom I am dating now. It’s more than a blessing to me that we can be together. “There will always be a better one”, he told me, “even when you suppose that the previous person is the best”. Hence, I so appreciate that he is mine and vice versa.
I met my ex-crush again on a day that Sakura was celebrating the air of the spring and asked him how he was doing.
Perhaps there are always people in our lives who are meant to be the passengers.
Eurus Thach.
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