Domestic Violence Effect On Children and Parent-child Aggression, and Treatments (Part III)

Domestic Violence Effect On Children and Parent-child Aggression, and Treatments

Eurus Thach

March 18th, 2019

Improvements in treatments for Children

 The Childhood Domestic Violence Association (n.d.) reports, “approximately 15 million children are growing up with domestic violence in the U.S. alone” (“Getting Started”, para. 3). The Change a Life Program founded by this association suggests four main steps for the helpers and caregivers to help their children who experience such violent scenes. 

The Change a Life Program Steps 

Step one, “learn”. The Childhood Domestic Violence Association (n.d.) shares that the first step is having a discussion with children about their domestic violence situations. Step two is called “connect”. The second step is about digging deep into the child’s emotions and helping him or her control the situation. The third step is the “support” stage. Children will be provided with skills and real-life examples. The final step, “help”, is about building children a social support network, inspiring and encouraging them through role models. This is a patient process that requires a lot of effort and caring attitudes. Eventually, the results always worth it.

The role model 

The role model effect provided at the end of the Change a Life Program does not only include the caregivers or people around but also includes unrealistic characters. In fact, the role model can be used throughout the four-step process of the Change a Life Program. In case a child resists telling the helpers and caregivers his or her feelings or learning necessary skills, bringing their role models will create a more sympathetic affair for the conversation. By then, it is more relaxing for a child to share their vulnerable experience and pick up the lessons. According to White, Prager, Schaefer, Kross, Duckworth, Carlson (2017), from May 2012 to January 2013, reports studying the relation between role play and learning in children. Though all kinds of role models are equally important, White, Prager, Schaefer, Kross, Duckworth, Carlson (2017)’s research focuses on impersonating role models. However, there are still opposing views on impersonating role models. The reason, in their opinions, is fictional characters are not perfect enough. Apple Belle (2017) writes, “Batman is the most ‘human’ superhero -in that he has no powers and no perfect standards of morality- his status as a role model for children is actually highly questionable” (para. 8). However, White et al. (2017)’s experiment proves the opposite. 

In this experiment, the children were asked to participate in a difficult and helpful task but “was modified to be long and boring”. When the children wondered if they "were being a good helper", the authors assume, “this reflection was most successful when it involved impersonating a character” (White et al., 2017). A child's favourite characters affect his or her attitude. Since then, they mirror and learn the traits intrinsically. By linking the model to the child’s cognitive process, it becomes reasonable to learn. Then it goes from all the work of the reasoning system to the child’s behaviors. As long as the child feels good about his or her role model’s choice, he or she can get benefits from them regardless of others’ opinions. That is the difference between the reasoning system of a child and an adult. 

The reasoning system 

In order to interpret a child's perspective and their emotions, caregivers and helpers need to understand his or her reasoning system. The reasoning system includes the thinking and analysis of a child toward a situation. In her work, Rothbart (2011) states, “the effectiveness of a coping strategy, however, will depend on the amount of control the child can reasonably have their own behavior and the events he or she experiences” (p. 161). Hence, since early ages, it is a very familiar phenomenon that children replicate the actions from people around them. Many of us believe that the replicate will build up their habits and characters. It is hard to deny. However, it is only a part of the truth. In fact, according to Rothbart, the reasoning system decides them all.

Building up such a system requires the input of information. For example, a child sees a man crossing the street illegally in order to catch up on the bus. It is reasonable for the man to do so because of the rush. So the problem is how to get the child to understand that laws matter more or an accident might occur. There needs to be a proper explanation. The parents, the caregivers, friends, and close acquaintance or even a stranger can play a part in this process. In other words, the worse they play this role, the darker the child’s future is: “The child lives in a network of relationships with siblings, peers, and adults and is continually evaluating his or her qualities in relation to these people, while identifying selectively with some of them” (Kagan, 1984, p. 275). It is assertable that the nature-nurture fit is essential in child development and the reasoning system is its only root. With the right basis of reasoning, the right outcome, behaviors and thinkings, will come after. Therefore, as witnesses of the domestic abuse events, children have their reasoning system damaged. 

Treatments for Parent-child Aggression 

The safest way to heal parent-child aggression is through the changes of the perpetrators. Only by that way, children can confidently express their love and share their struggles with the perpetrators, which reforms the child’s perspective and the connection of the family. 

The changes of the perpetrators 

The DVCC (2011) suggests, “a pattern of jealous and controlling behavior that isolates, threatens, and frightens their partner” (para. 8). The abusers have problems controlling behaviors and performing appropriate ones. Besides the anger management, many abusers, mostly men, have to struggle with the influences from violent ads and images, especially those in the 1990s. According to Kilbourne (1999), violent ads and images “contribute to the state of terror. And objectification and disconnection create a climate in which there is widespread and increasing violence” (p. 499). In another aspect, perpetrators are also victims of domestic violence.

The Method of Lundy Bancroft 

When can the domestic violence stop? The National Domestic Violence Hotline believes that changes are possible for the perpetrators. Using Lundy Bancroft’s study, this organization (2013) shares the list including admitting actions and attitudes, making amends, developing respect and solutions for conflicts with the victims (para. 7). In order to make a success in this process, learning respect is the key. The reason is, Kilbourne (1999) shares, “turning a human being into a thing, an object, is almost always the first step toward justifying violence against that person” (p. 499). 

However, changes are not always easy. This process takes a lot of effort than it sounds. Supporting this statement, Reina Gattuso (2018) claims, “The process of genuinely changing harmful behaviors is long, slow, and difficult. It takes a lifetime to learn abusive behaviors, so unlearning those behaviors — while totally possible — takes a heck of a lot of work” (para. 10). In her paper, though Gattuso does discuss changing possibilities, she encourages the victims to save themselves more in general. The reason is breaking promises with the victims can damage their mental health heavier than previously.

Intervention Programs 

Intervention programs help the abusers by supervising and giving therapy for their anger issue. However, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (2014), success depends on the abusers' desire to change. Toward the opposing views, this organization (2014) suggests intervention programs for the abusers to learn and control their behaviors through anger management and Batterer Intervention & Prevention Programs (BIPPs). 

Conclusion 

Consequently, domestic violence gives children liabilities in learning and problems processing emotion. Domestic violence directly attacks their mental health, which leaves children scars into adulthood. Fortunately, children do not have to suffer all the pain alone. They have organizations and laws to strengthen their voices. Besides that, there are intervention programs for the abusers to improve their anger management, which heals the parent-child aggression. There still remains incompletions in these treatments. However, though these programs eventually work, it is still hard for children to forget the past. How can they accept the fact that the abusers are supposed to be the ones they love? The parent-child aggression, one of the domestic violence's results, make it difficult for children to reconnect with their caregivers and others, especially the abusers. 

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References: (the whole research)

Apple Belle. (2017). Superhero Standards: Unrealistic Role Models or Inspirers of Morality? [Blog post]. Retrieved from https://applebelleblog.wordpress.com/2017/09/29/superhero-standards-unrealistic-role-models-or-inspirers-of-morality/.

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Child Domestic Violence Association. (2014). 10 Startling Statistics about Children of Domestic Violence [Blog post]. Retrieved from https://cdv.org/2014/02/10-startling-domestic-violence-statistics-for-children/.

Child Domestic Violence Association. (n.d.). Change a Life Program [Blog post]. Retrieved from http://changealife.cdv.org/.

Child Witness to Violence Project. (n.d.). Social Impact & History: History of Services for Children who are Exposed to Violence [Blog post]. Retrieved from http://www.childwitnesstoviolence.org/social-impact--history.html.

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Domestic Violence Coordinating Council. (2011). Dynamics of Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence Coordinating Council. Retrieved from https://dvcc.delaware.gov/background-purpose/dynamics-domestic-abuse/.

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White, R. E., Prager, E. O., Schaefer, C., Kross, E., Duckworth, A. L., Carlson, S. M. (2017, September/October). The "Batman Effect": Improving Perseverance in Young Children. Child Development, doi: 00093920, 88(5). Retrieved from EBSCOhost.