The Nostalgic Time of Equal Educational, Political Access, and So Forth, For The Achievement of Gender Equality (Part 2)

     Race interacts with gender in many ways. I grew up in Vietnam, a country whose citizens are still influenced by traditional gender roles. Traditionally, Vietnamese people follow four virtues called “Công-Dung-Ngôn-Hạnh”. This consists of good domestic skills, good-looking appearance, gentle speech, and exemplary conduct. Being a traditional Vietnamese woman means being an individual who can take care of the chores and her look, speak modestly, and live harmoniously with her husband and children. On the other hand, traditional Vietnamese men are expected to be the provider of the family. The identities of his children and his wife are recognized through the relationships with him. In the past, sons had more opportunities to have higher education since they were expected to bring home glorious achievements (Bui, 2019).

     Vietnamese also hold a similar belief to the “rule of thumb” discussed in Lutze and Symons (2003, p. 321). Men gain control through their social privileges and authority. That is how domestic violence begins (Lutze & Symons, 2003, p. 321). As a child, I witnessed many men physically and verbally abused their wives. One of the bystanders told me that they did so to gain power over their partners. From this experience, I learn that a wife's happiness depends on her husband. To avoid such a suffering marriage I tell myself to learn my man thoroughly.

     Vietnamese people have made many changes to gender roles. Nowadays, both the female and male population have equal educational opportunities. Many men share chores with their wives. Also, more and more women enter the workforce during motherhood.

     Witnessing this changing process, I am inspired to fight for my career path and personal achievements.  Although my relatives expect me to financially and emotionally dependent on my future husband, I receive support from my parents for my decisions. They said it was vital for a woman to gain independence and have equal authority in marriage.

     However, fighting over power in a romantic relationship is not a smart step to achieve this goal. Besides high education, my mother always tells me that a woman needs to adjust her behaviors to gain respect from her husband. These behaviors aren't the ones discussed in the reaction essay of Lutze and Symons (2003). Instead of being a compliant or a weak woman (p. 320), a woman should know how to use her gentleness. Gentleness in the female population, in my opinion, reflects a modest and wise attitude. If a man is associated with power, it will not be a smart decision for a woman to use it against him. She could use a gentle attitude or speech to talk him down. Unlike helpless compliance associated with women in the past, this gentleness contains an internal feminine strength. Coco Chanel had an interesting quote about this topic, “gentleness doesn't get work done unless you happen to be a hen laying eggs.”

     To achieve gender equality, I believe women should have the freedom to participate in activities, educational, and political field. This belief reflects a gender perspective called liberal feminism. According to Lutze (n.d.), liberal feminists claim that limited opportunities in education for women are the cause of gender inequality (p. 4). Many friends of my parents always encourage my brother to study hard and achieve materialistic goals. Meanwhile, they wish me to find a good husband and become a happy housewife. The reason for this phenomenon might be because there weren't many women went to universities at the time. 

     Like other girls who live in traditional homes, my mother wasn’t allowed to go to school. Growing up in the rural, she helped her parents all day on the field. She enjoyed school so much that she spent her sleeping time studying. However, with the traditional view of gender roles, her father made her stay home and found her a husband. He said it was a waste of money to send a girl to school because she would end up being a housewife in the future. When I heard this story, I was disappointed about how people kept maintaining such an unhealthy stereotype about gender roles. 

     As a female individual in the twenty-first century who receives the chance to equally access higher education, political participation, and so forth, I am responsible to reach my fullest potentials. In doing so, I would receive academic respect from my male partner. The academic achievement is the preparation for gaining the impact in the workforce and the respect for my political views or voting. With this belief and effort, hopefully, I will be able to use my success as an example to teach my children about equal respect for both femininity and masculinity.

Eurus Thach.

References:



Bui, M. (2019). Vietnamese Traditional Gender Roles [Blog post]. Retrieved from https://www.itourvn.com/blog/vietnamese-traditional-gender-roles.



LaViolette, A. D., & Barnett, Ola W. (2014). It could happen to anyone : why battered women stay (Third edition.). Los Angeles: SAGE.



Lutze, F. E., & Symons, M. L. (2003). The Evolution Of Domestic Violence Policy Through Masculine Institutions: From Discipline to Protection to Collaborative Empowerment. Criminology & Public Policy, 2(2), 319–328. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-9133.2003.tb00128.x.



Lutze, F. E. (n.d.). Perspective on Gender Theory [PDF file]. Retrieved from https://apps.aoi.wsu.edu/onlinemedia/transcripts/crmj403_3_art%20(c092).pdf.